After the service, I whispered to my sister, "I asked Aunt Lura to say hi to Daddy."
"Me, too," she whispered back.
A few hours after my cousin's call Wednesday evening, a friend called to tell me she was in labor. I had helped deliver her previous babies, and she honored me by asking if I would be there for this one as well. She called at 10 p.m. I got to the hospital around 10:45. The baby was born at 1:01 a.m. As a result of this wondrous event, I got to meet some super cool young women in a mommies co-op who are in to natural childbirth and got me all jazzed up. The next generation of forward-thinking women's health care providers.
I must put in a plug for St. David's Hospital staff and admin for making noticeable progress toward offering the mother choices. Having the opportunity to see their show on three different occasions, I witnessed staff having to delay delivery until a doctor's arrival, to seeing a nurse respectfully ask the mother wanted to have this or that done to her baby...or not. Appropriately timed, of course. They take control when it's necessary.
We absolutely MUST empower the mother to fully engage with her delivery, and health care providers must recognize the mother as an essential partner in her own care. The more choices we have, the more we know, the less we fear the unknown. Fear causes us to tighten up which in turn causes pain. Breathing techniques, relaxation to alpha state and working with the rhythms can help make delivery much more comfortable and enjoyable. It's just natural...
The same could be said for the end of life. The more power we have over how to die with dignity, the more society progresses. It's all nature.Even the part about a full Friday funeral, the sisters and a cousin driving to Waco, joining in the abundant lunch prepared by church members. A sweet service, a gorgeous sunset at the cemetary, and the drive home. Or the bit about catching a bite to eat, going up to the hospital to hold a newborn on my bosom for a couple of hours, in total peace, total calm. Mom, baby, mommy friend, the spirits of all my female family and ancestors, and me. Totally in the moment, auras blending, connecting the earth and the sky like a giant, 300-year old live-oak tree.A sufficiency of time, advent, completion.
Which leads me to the last realization. If I'm not living on an ocean, I usually manage to live by or under an ancient tree. I must have been a druid in a former life.
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2 comments:
Sorry about your loss. This is just a wonderful piece you've written and the photos are spectacular.
I wanted natural childbirth when my daughter was born in late '60's but the youthful doctor in the small Ohio university town where we were new residents insisted it would best be induced. Naive and with no one else to consult I thought he must know best. Only after over twelve hours of labor, when even he was getting tired, he commented that as soon as my baby came he was leaving on vacation did I realize why he made his recommendation avoiding my natural child birth request.
Four years later in AZ even though several unplanned last minute doctor changes occurred I again had an even younger doctor who didn't even know me, but hastily agreed to my request for a natural child birth. The experience was wonderful as I observed in a mirror above the bed, even though I had to hold the expulsion contraction twice while they maneuvered my son into a better exit position. During the ensuing thirty to forty years I would hope more enlightened views exist toward natural child birth.
Those folks are out there, but it seems that we've gone backward in our health care in more ways than one. I just hope the next generations spread the good word.
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